Profilectlx.Carlene Tan Li Xuan 11th July 1988. Currently 23+. Studied in St. Anthony's Canossian Primary and Secondary School, SRJC (first 3 months), TPJC, NUS FASS (econs). loves family, friends, chocs, western desserts, yellow, etc etc.
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Monday, January 31, 2005i'm getting sick of school, sick of teaching and sick of you. urgh... okay, i don't really mean anything, but i'm just not in thebest of mood right now... its probably the serious pms setting in... sickening you know... my 2 students just pissed me off and now my bro is being an irritant... ARGH!!!okay, i'm leaving soon, gotta go finish up the math tutorial... i'm actually setting into school quite fine now... i mean i'm kinda getting used to the surroundings and all... quite like the place, but still some things turn me off... haish, i am hoping this pms thing gets off me right NOW! >.< i'm going to burst!!! argh!!! i miss sac soo much... can't wait to go back... ooh well, i'm going now... take care you guys, anything just give me a tinker ya? ciao! Saturday, January 29, 2005hello!!! i've actually got nothing much to say actually just that i was sleeping and playing the piano during lesson today and my teacher didn't even realise... okay... :p... chingay practise wasn't so bad... my group was just a little too quiet for my liking... maybe a little warm-up should cure it... hehe... okay... so ya, wanted to share this song with u peeps for a long time, but keep forgetting to put the lyrics... i love this song... its "emotional" by diana degarmo... enjoy. Sometimes I get emotional Sometimes I do some stupid things Sometimes I say what I should just keep inside Sometimes I'm sad about everything Sometimes I'm mad and break some things Sorry times 10 but you just got in the way Don't give up now running away I won't hurt you sometimes I'm just a pain And that's the way it is That's just the way I am Sometimes I feel like crying Laying down and dying That's when I need you Laughing's always easy, but sometimes I'm just scared you'll leave me That's when I feel emotional [fade] You say I'm just impossible Totally unpredictableI'm just a girl get use to it No big deal You can't change me why would you try? I'm no angel but I can make you smile And that's the way it is That's just the way I am Sometimes I feel like crying Laying down and dying That's when I need you Laughing's always easy but, sometimes I'm just scared you'll leave me That's when I feel emotional Don't give up I won't hurt you Oh, sometimes I'm just a pain And that's the way it is That's just the way I am Sometimes I feel like crying
Laying down and dying That's when I need you Laughing's always easy, but sometimes I'm just scared you'll leave me That's when I feel emotional [fade] That's just the way I am Sometimes I feel like crying Laying down and dying That's when I need you Laughing's always easy but sometimes I'm just scared you'll leave me That's when I feel emotional okay, guess what, i left my watch in the physics lab today... hows that... urgh, and its my 25 hour watch okay... sick... then again, 2 of my classmates were really nice to walk back and help me check if my watch was still there but sadly it wasn't... :( really worried bout tt watch... i've grown feelings for it... seems like everyone's losing a thing or 2... hope my fren finds his i/c... its 50 bucks if i'm not wrong... to make a replacement... homework's piling up and i'm starting to find it kinda hard to catch up... especially math... i'm really afraid i'll lag behind... which means i've gotta start catching up... ;X hm... life in a mix school isn't fun at all honestly, i mean you'll get to see the nasty side of pple everyday... and its so sickening to see how some girls cherish guys more than their female friends and see how some girls fall stupidly for guys who do serious flirting... its sad u know, sometimes i feel like telling the girl "can't u see he's just flirting?" but then again, how would i know right, not like i've been in a relationship before or anything... haish.. thank goodness i know i won't meet into this kinda problem... hehe... i've got chingay practise tomorrow... guess i should be turning in soon huh... oh well... guess i'll end here then... everybody take care!!! Thursday, January 27, 2005okay, great, i openly annouce now that my math is failing me and its horrid. i can't do a revision without leaving blanks... what the heck... urgh!!! i need help!!! ya, and my chinese is failing too, and i'm slow and stupid... darn... okay this is wonderfully great, i'm feeling all sorts of terrible, no in fact i'm confused... haiya! the next time i see you all, be sure to be hearing a whole lot of crap... hehe... :) okay shall go now... tata! *muacks*Monday, January 24, 2005i'm back!!! did anyone miss me? i'm sure you all did... keke... okay, anyway, i collected the sudio album already!!! i won't say it's all that great, but ya, with digitalised photos, who won't look nice right... :) so, the next time we meet up, remind me to show you the album okay?hm... oh ya, just a shout out to all sjab peeps... there's a badger camp coming up from the 12-14th of march, badger meaning primary school sjab wannabes... so we're kinda short of group leaders right now. bascially, there would be an estimated 250 kids. They will be divided into 4 main divisions, in each division, there will be 5 groups, in each group there'll be about 12 kids... so each group is taken care of by 2 group leaders... which approximately, we'll need about 40 group leaders... but erm, currently, we only have say bout 10.. so ya, calling out to all sjab pple, if you're interested, pls tell me okay? u all got my contact details right... i'm sure... so i went for the second meeting regarding the badger camp yesterday... quite boring, i mean its camp planning right, so the content is naturally dry but anyways, its good to learn the tactics of planning from the adults... poor chu wen, she's the camp commmander, so just imagine her work load... :x but she's great, i'm sure she can do it... ;) the next meeting's on the 20th of feb at 1p.m, and this time the content will be even drier cos they'll be going into the microscopic details of the camp(or so the teacher calls it) but anyways, i wonder if i should go... should i? hm... anyhow, my sis's going for her sch camp on weds at johor!!! hmph! when we were in sec 3, we never had such priviledges... not fair! oh, in fact the whole school's having camp... and this as i have just learnt was a tradition from way back and it stopped during our year and now its continuing... unfair unfair... haish. but since when has life been fair huh... okay, anyways shall go now... take care everyone! Friday, January 21, 2005okay, i'm having severe muscle aches now, and it isn't exactly the right time to have them... not when i've got so much walking to do tomorrow... haish...hm... valentine's day is approaching and everyone around seems excited... except for me... but then again... oh well... came home nearing mid-night last night... attended the meeting for the up-coming badger camp... some serious planning going on there... ya yin was really nice to "send" me home... really gotta thank her for that... oh anyway, what does it mean if someone gives a girl a rose on valentine's day? okay, seriously, i'm really worried bout how i'm speaking... cos i mean you'll never know when or how even you're influenced at times right? so ya, i'm obviously, by what my friends tell me, becoming more crude and vulgar in my manner of speech and that is frightening... and i'm seriously disturbed by it... i mean i try to watch how i speak every time i open my mouth but then again, i don't know for how long more i can last... sheesh... i need help... help! help! okay okay.... so how is everyone right now? i hope all the sec 4s are studying hard for chinese... i'm sure you are... hehe... but then in the midst of all those heavy activities, you all gotta watch your health ya... sick must go see doctor k... and to all my pals currently studying first 3 months... u all seem to be settling down pretty well... i'm glad to hear that... :) but don't push yourself to hard too ya... let's take things 1 step at a time.. ;) oh well, guess i'll leave now... take care everyone... *hugz* Wednesday, January 19, 2005Dear God,please bless all who are sick... and bless especially my dear mum... please let the report be negative... please let her be alrght... please bless all those who are sick, let them be alright... Amen. today was sure 1 hell of a day... well the mornings were fine... in fact the whole day went alright until the afternoon, well, it didn't not go alright, but it was just super tiring... much more tiring then i had expected... okay, i suppose i'm not making sense here... hehe, see, today i went for this odac trail and boy it was exhausting okay... honest... but i survived!!! keke... okay, so the day turned topsy turvey after i came home, cos i found out... only at 6p.m++, that my mum had an operation in the morning... oh goodness, i nearly fainted, not from exhaustion but from shock... i mean ya... i'm really at a loss for words... i really hope i can keep up that poker face when i go to school tomorrow... anyhow, this is a prayer for all the sick... seems like everyones falling sick... dunno why also... but ya, here it goes... Wings of Prayer On the wings of prayer Our burdens take flight And our load of care Becomes bearably light... And our heavy hearts Are lifted above To be healed by the balm of God's wonderful love... And the tears in our eyes are dried by the hands Of a loving Father Who understands All of our problems, Our fears and despair, When we take them to Him On the wings of prayer. by Helen Steiner Rice hm... here's a msg to someone i quarrelled with, i actually dunno if i should say anything but if i dun pour what i want to say, i think i'll explode.. so ya, anyway i doubt it'll be read, so might as well say it here lar huh... *look, i don't know what exactly did i say that made u so pissed off, but if its about the lunch thing and getting stella all upset about u, i'm sorry... but i really never expected that she would be angry with u... and i know no matter what i say about that matter, you won't believe so there's no point in me explaining further... but if you're pissed about the nagging thing, and about saying u think u very strong and the passing germs stuff, its all part and parcel of what i say, and i'm only joking. u don't know me well enough so u probably won't know... i say that to everyone whose sick, believe it or not, its up to u. i really don't find i did anything wrong... and i won't know unless you say it. then again, if i really did something wrong, u could have told to me nicely, no need for the flaring up u know. but then again, its probably ur nature. look, the fact is we both have our pride and our believes and i suppose we won't be talking for some time, but whatever it is, i hope we can clear this stuff up. yup. that's all* Tuesday, January 18, 2005okay... i'm not feeling in the total best mood right now to update but ya, just kinda upset how some things can go totally wrong at times... urgh... crappy crappy... but oh well... why get pissed right... it's not gonna help... but i do really feel accused, honest... anyhow... if my conscience is clear, i suppose i shan't care... but then i still gotta vent out some stuff rite.. so ya....*i'm pissed i'm pissed i'm pissed i'm pissed i'm pissed i'm pissed i'm pissed i'm pissed i'm pissed i'm pissed i'm pissed i'm pissed i'm pissed i'm pissed i'm pissed i'm pissed i'm pissed i'm pissed i'm pissed i'm pissed i'm pissed i'm pissed i'm pissed i'm pissed i'm pissed i'm pissed i'm pissed i'm pissed i'm pissed i'm pissed i'm pissed i'm pissed i'm pissed i'm pissed i'm pissed i'm pissed i'm pissed i'm pissed i'm pissed i'm pissed i'm pissed i'm pissed i'm pissed i'm pissed i'm pissed i'm pissed i'm pissed i'm pissed i'm pissed i'm pissed i'm pissed you'reabasketandyousuckyou'reabasketandyousuck you'reabasketandyousuck you'reabasketandyousuck you'reabasketandyousuck you'reabasketandyousuck you'reabasketandyousuckyou'reabasketandyousuck you'reabasketandyousuck you'reabasketandyousuck you'reabasketandyousuck you'reabasketandyousuck you'reabasketandyousuck you'reabasketandyousuck okay, i feel better now... hehe... oh ya, for those who need a good way of venting anger... try what i did, somehow it worked... ;) here comes more... hang on... on second thought, why bother wasting my finger energy and such a wothless person right... sheesh... xue ling's right... i might as well go do something more constructive... okay i'm not pissed anymore, in fact i feel good... hehe... I FEEL GOOD... LA LA LA LA LA LA LA... I KNOW THAT I WOULD, LA LA LA LA LA LA LA... I FEEL GOOD... LA LA LA LA LA LA LA... I KNOW THAT I WOULD, LA LA LA LA LA LA LA... SO GOOD, SO GOOD, I FEEL GOOD... LA LA LA LA! :D Saturday, January 15, 2005woke up today at about 9.30... my sis kinda had to force me up. oh u know what's the amazing part... she made breakfast today... cool right, first time she serve me k... *pleased*so ya, then had to rush and try out clothes for the studio shots later... i actually matched a halter with a brown skirt but then my mum disapproved of it, so no choice had to change to my grad night top.. the white 1... oh btw, if anyone realised, there's a "pictures" link under "my links" and that's where i uploaded the grad night pics.. yup.. okay and back to where i was, so had to rush and pack up, came online to check up some drama stuff as well as to repair my blog template which was in a horrid mess... following that, i had to pack the make-up, my piano and drama stuff.. and i was really rushing... so packed the shoes etc etc and out of the house i went.. okay, piano wasn't really a killer though i had a hard time trying to keep awake.. so drama came after tt, wasn't too bad either, just had some homework... :( yup, so after which, we rushed down to penninsular plaza where the studio was located... okay, took some passport sized photos... and the family(which consisted of 13 of us in total) took a super long time... and my mouth literally expanded cos the photgrapher thought that i wasn't smiling enough... well as if my mouth can expand... haish... so anyway, it took a disastrously long time... moving left a bit, slant a bit etc etc... and my grandparents took a portrait photograph... so anyway.. tt was 3/4 of my day away... next comes the exciting bit... went to the restaurant at excelsior hotel... and... i SAW A CUTE GUY!!! first time k that i took a double look and tried to look at him better... actually i was kinda attracted to his fatherly nature... i mean he handled the kids really well, tt kinda caught my eye... well he isn't the cutest but he's good enough for me... :) haish, but then arh, i think he's attached... sad... and we didn't even make eye contact... not even once... haish... oh well, what's not meant to be yours won't be yours huh... haish... but he's really cute okay... *sighs* Friday, January 14, 2005okay, today was 1 long tiring day... left the house at 6.10a.m and only reached home at 10.15p.m... so naughty right... ah well, shall just update a little on today's happenings...okay so let's start from the front... last night, even though stella and guo hwee has made up, the stupid guo hwee decided to come up with a brilliant idea of fooling me by trying to act in front of me as if they quarrelled again which i unfortunately did not fall for cos i thought all along tt was how they commmunicated... at least i thought so until this morning... cos stella came over and passed me a paper(which i found confusing initially) but ya, i sort of figurd out they wanted to make me mad, which i obviously wasn't and ya, they even decided to treat me if i was mad okay.... so ya, tt's my early interesting morning for today.. following that, the results for the civis group was out and i got my combi!!! yuppie!!! but then arh, got nobody i know tt's there and mostly girls also... ;) yup... anyway will get to know my classmates on monday... okay so soon it was after sch... met yi ling and headed for kovan mrt... i was suppose to take the train with her until at least paya laber, but then had to rush, so in the end, sat only till serangoon... then was waiting for bus 158 when mei yi called to say she'll meet me instead... so ya, we met up and i saw my old friend wei keat... finally, hehe, i got something to disturb him about... keke... then saw calista and some of mei yi's new gang mates... then headed back for kovan again... to do what? eat... so delay delay and we only left kovan at about 3.20... and reached school only at 4.30... cheryl must have been really mad... oh ya, she's wearing contacts! hehe... okay, so we did some cheer and it felt good... especially to see all the teachers who welcomed us again and again and to see all my old sch mates... :) okay so then we rushed off to tampines and enquired some stuff at the sintec shop... saw tt vs guy again... sheesh... okay then rushed to tampines mall to take a neo card... which turned out kinda wrong cos we chose our background to be constalletions which turned out to be horrorscopes... and all the name stuff turned out totally wrong but heck lar, the pic still turned out quite nice in the end... shall show u some other time k... ya.. then rushed to meet my friend who ended up freaking late... saw bernie... so glad to see her really... and her skirt isn't tt short lar, i think cheryl exaggerated just a bit... ya, then we were stopped by some guy who asked us for donations and he was basically being crappy lar... but heck... okay so then when i finialy met tt friend of mine, we headed for the ssa(singapore soka association)... attended their sharing session... it wasn't too bad, though i was more into the little baby present there... hehe... okay so got home not long ago, finally took my bath and i think i'm off to bed... really exhausted... still got a loong day tomorrow... well then, nitey nite! Thursday, January 13, 2005guess where i am now? i'm in the library! don't have any lectures for 2 hours and 15 mins! hehe...my next lecture is at 11.30 i think.. that's chem... followed by chinese at 12.15... yup... then school ends!!! hehe... haish, sat piano start ready... think i'm gonna be killed... and i am so not looking forward to see my other drama classmates on sat... sob... well but then again, i'm really lucky cause i don't have to prepare an approx. 2 min long sppech on modulation... hehe... poor sher... haish but knowing her, she can do it 1 lar... no fear man... all right... can't wait for tomorrow... see ya all in school(s.a.c)!Wednesday, January 12, 2005dear diary,i had cca orientation(or rather registration) today, and after being indesicive for so long, i decided to forgo badminton and join odac instead... sadly there was to be an audition, but thankfully its held only next weds... which means, i can go back to S.A.C for the cca orientation on friday! yuppie!!! hm... oh ya, talking 'bout odac auditions right, we asked what were the criteria for making it into odac and that guy simple said to be physically fit... :X not sure if i'm still up for all the tough stuff... haven't really been working out lately as you all know... so ya... anyway for safety purposes, both me and agnes signed on for sapphire rovers of which we learnt that 1 needn't be in a uniform group before that... so ya, and the best part was there wasn't any audition! keke... okay, so why am i like so happy? cause i'm going back to S.A.C to see all my little bao bei... hehe... and of course to see their drill standards and all lar... oh ya... and i'm attending some youth meeting in some soka association on friday too... anyway friday's gonna be a hell of a day for me... good or bad i really wanna know... so anyway i made quite some progress cause i didn't sleep in any lectures today... not bad right... its a huge improvement since secondary school u know... keke... oh ya, and there were some pple from the heartware network that gave us a talk today... and i'm participatingin chingay as a motivator! hehe... kinda excited bout that actually... can't wait... *grinz* so ya... hope everyone joins in... the more the merrier mar... ;) so ya... >> i wonder if i should change my drama class, i mean after all i'm the only lonely sheep in my class... quite sad to not know anyone and to find them from really prestigious jcs' so ya... how? haish... Tuesday, January 11, 2005okay, let's see... i shall just write the interesting stuff that happened today lar huh...so, it starts with the GP quiz we had this morning... its upon 50, of which i think if i can get 20 marks, it'll be fantastic... honestly, i only knew 1 out of the 10 acronyms or so okay... i think i'm so going to fail my GP... sighs... y interesting? cause i've never been so puzzled bout english before in my life... so anyway, the rest of the day just followed on with lecture... oh, then the next interesting part came during eng lit... see, me and stella were at the lecture theatre a little too early so when we entered, the room was totally dark, then she took out her phone and switched on the torch light! i was really fascinated by it k... i've never seen such a cute thing before! and ya, as you all know what becomes of me when i get excited... i was super drawn to that thing okay... it was damn cute... :) so glad i saw something new today... hehe... ya, i must have scared her quite a bit with my fascination... keke... okay, then comes after school... i was suppose to look for mei yi's friend called chloe(unique right the name...) ya, who was also in sr... so finally after many days, i saw who chloe was... and mei yi's description was kinda off, especially when she described humphrey(her other friend which i was suppose to meet) sheesh... no wonder i could never find them... haish... okay so they had another friend with them, and ya, as you all know when i'm in small groups right, i tend to make a lot of noise, or rather talk a lot... so ya... and chloe commented that i talked like mei yi (more like the few of us talked totally alike)... but ya, and she said i was cute! hehe... which means ugly but adorable lar... so ya... and anyway was so glad to finally meet mei yi and joanne loy... it's been a really long time since i saw joanne... and we ended up eating long john's... i ate some fish wrap... wasn't too bad just a little to big... hehe... okay then we headed for school! i love sac... i missed the school so much... we went in the find cheryl and si hui already waiting patiently for us... man, you could just imagine the joy when we saw each another... it was overwhleming... :) yup, instead of really helping out with writing the report, we were more of sharing our jc stories with one another, showing some steps from our mass dance... and ya, finally saw my koala bear... oh man, her hug was really breath-taking... i mean i nearly saffocated... but ya, it was nice lar... saw my prefect juniors too... man, have they grown... so proud of them... :) okay so anyway i think that's enough crap for today... good night everyone... take care! *muacks* Monday, January 10, 2005Did anyone watch the ren ci charity show last night? Well I did, and I was deeply moved by each and every true life story they showed… and every time they show these true life stories, I never fail to have tears rolling down my cheeks. Life is really unpredictable huh… it sounds ridiculous when people say, “you may never know what can happen, for all you know, tomorrow you may not be around anymore”. Honestly I never believed a word of it, how can anyone’s life, just turn topsy-turvey in a moment, and sometimes its not even their fault… why must some people take the punishment for others? Why can’t those people who have done wrong be punished? Why must the most innocent people, like those in the ren ci hospital suffer the consequences of their recklessness? I don’t understand, and I doubt I ever will…Looking at the clips they screened, I admire the families of these patients for their unconditional love, and their unfailing faith to their loved ones, they never gave up on them, and continued showering love, visiting them everyday without fail, cleaning them up. I wasn’t solely moved by their actions but by their emotional strength, the power they possess to wake up everyday despite the inner pain and misery, to go and visit them everyday despite the heart wrenching sight of their loved ones lying vulnerably in bed. The simple wish of one day being able to bring them back and eat a proper meal, or just to celebrate Chinese new year. I’m even more amazed by the patients, for their will to continue living day after day, despite knowing how much anguish and suffering they must have brought to their loved ones, and in hope of recovering one day… Being mobile and able to walk around, having both arms and legs are things we all posses but how come we never treasure them? How come we never treasure and love the things around us until we’ve lost them… everyday we ask for things, for this handphone, for more money, and even for a better life… but compared to those on the hospital beds, aren’t we far luckier than them? We’ve everything we possible need, family, friends, and food that’ll last us through everyday, but yet we’re never contented… looking back at my past 2 entries I suddenly find myself so selfish, I only thought of how unhappy I was, but I’d never consider how fortunate I was to be able to go to school regardless of where I am… I’m lucky to be jumping and alive and so, what more can I ask? What right have I got to ask for anything else anyway? I feel so utterly ashamed at myself for being so self-centered… urgh… now all I wish is for just 1, 1 person in the hospital to be well and walking… and to see the delighted faces of their families. And I pray that these family members will have the courage and strength to pull through everyday… so shall we all pray together? And I also pray that my grandfather will be alright… please be alright… I’m planning on doing some volunteer work during the hols at ren ci hospital, if anyone’s interested in joining me, just tell me k… meanwhile, let’s pray… Some people live for the fortune Some people live just for the fame Some people live for the power yeah Some people live just to play the game Some people think that the physical things define what's within And I've been there before But that life's a bore So full of the superficial Some people want it all But I don't want nothing at all If it ain't you baby If I ain't got you baby Some people want diamond rings Some just want everything But everything means nothing If I ain't got you Some people search for a fountain That promises forever young Some people need three dozen roses And that's the only way to prove you love them Hand me the world on a silver platter And what good would it be? With no one to share, with no one who truly cares for me Some people want it all But I don't want nothing at all If it ain't you baby If I ain't got you baby Some people want diamond rings Some just want everything But everything means nothing If I ain't got you, you, you Some people want it all But I don't want nothing at all If it ain't you baby If I ain't got you baby Some people want diamond rings Some just want everything But everything means nothing If I ain't got you If I ain't got you with me baby Nothing in this whole wide world don't mean a thing If I ain't got you with me baby Saturday, January 08, 2005urgh, u know sometimes being a female is irritating cause i mean... ya... girls would understand extremely well what i mean... its especially irritating when the crampa start coming... urgh... just like the whole of today... i could hardly walk, better still, i couldn't even sit properly... so irritating! *sob*today my OG group had a gathering, but i couldn't go cause apparently i thought i had piano lessons which turned out that it starts only erm, next week... >.<> okay, so i'm using my dad's laptop and i downloaded msn there but sadly everything's there in chinese and wierd symbols, guess i got to switch com soon or i'll just go mad... okay... so i'm talking to cheryl now... missed her a lot.. she's so going to boast once she reads this.. hai.. anyway hope my cramps go by tomorrow, otherwise i don't know how i'm going to train... Friday, January 07, 2005hey people! how's everyone doing? well, just wanna say that no matter what happens right, we must always keep in contact and call me if i can help in any way ya? good...okay so anyway, i'm feeling sad... no, actually more of disappointed cause i couldn't make it into the badminton school team, but then again, i expected it, cause like duh, i didn't represent my school or anything, so ya... but somehow i just feel so disappointed... anyways i'm still going for the trial on weds to join badminton just for recreation... :1 it's weird you know, how sometimes we expect somethings to turn out 1 way and when they do, we're actually upset about it... okay i don't think i'm making sense... but anyhow, i'm going to pray hard tonight that my luck get's better and not any worse... oh you know why i titled today's entry as optimisim? cause after all that's happened ever since school started, and after seeing mdm su, charlotte, cin and mei yi yesterday, seeing their smiles and listening to my rants, i'm kinda telling myself constantly that no matter what happens, i know there'll always be pple there for me, and i've decided to go through srjc with the most positive attitude with whatever time i've have left. it's ironic sometimes, i'm always telling other to "always look on the bright side of life" and somehow i can never really understand why it's so difficult for them to even smile. but now i know. saying that sentence is so much more easier than really doing it, but i've decided to practise what i preach.. good right... ;) yup, so i suppose no matter what difficulties we face, we must must always look at it with a positive attitude then can we find ourselves contented. :) so let's all go forward and face our problems and difficulties with at optimisstic mind... so anyway, i miss nagging. ;) i'm sure you peeps will be elated to hear that i haven't nagged at anyone to eat their meds(except maybe for kaola bear), to remember to do this, or do that... an achievement right... hehe... i kinda miss nagging at you pple you know... hope we can meet up really really soon. :) okay, i think i'm ending here, can't think of anything else to say, so good night to all and sweeet dreams! Thursday, January 06, 2005wow, it's been 4 amazing days since school started, though i can't say i enjoy being in srjc. well, not that the school's bad or anything. i think the main problem lies with me. i can't fit in and i don't know why. i always thought i could adapt to my surroundings pretty quickly but i this time, it proved me wrong. i can't adapt at all.i went back to s.a.c today, was so mad at the office stuff, they were just so rude! i was really upset by their behaviour towards ex-pupils, but then, when i saw my cca teacher, she told me to be optimisstic, and ya, things didn't go out too badly cause i met a few old pals... :) and those affectionate smiles really brightened up my day. talking bout luck, i was really jinxed yesterday, from the very beginning of the day, i really don't know how much worser can things go. i'm really about to burst! :( every morning i drag myself out of bed then tell myself i've got to enjoy school, and i feel quite okay for half the school day and ya, then i'm upset all over again. how sick. okay, now my stomach's churning cause i'm going for badminton auditions tomorrow, and i'm going with someone whose an expert at badminton, and i believe those who are going are going to be as strong as her and i'm going to embarress myself. honestly, i wish i could just die in my sleep. won't it be nice? urgh. i'm so sick so sick so sick. i think it must be the mood swings that are taking over. my optimissim seems lost, i've gotta retrieve it back fast. real fast. ah well... at least the other sacians at srjc aren't doing that badly... especially boot... hehe... ah well, gotta go take my racket from my dad's car... hm, guess i'm ending soon. really miss you pple a lot a lot a lot. if i see you pple, i'm gonna give u all a HUGE hug... ;) well then, ciao everyone. take care ya... *muacks* |